Monday, October 3, 2011

Facebook Finale III

Last week was a world wind – no time to blog, barely time to choose between which Italian bespoke threads and killer socks to don.

With the traveling to and fro on sleek G6's emblazoned with logos of my gracious hosts, popping the bottles of Ace of Spades, making it rain and putting Range in the Rovers, tapping out my infamous prose was feeling trite. Plus my posting on for a ghost writer with uncanny wit and erudite synapse went unanswered, leaving my broad shoulders to weather the storm once again.

By now you know this blog is read by a ton. For many it's a faithful ritual, for others a rite of passage. What started as a lark and a sea of sarcasm and cynicism now provides riches in excess of the GNP of Guam.

It's influence has also grown, but in truth, until two weeks ago I didn't realize how much. That was until my two posts about my immediate departure from Facebook were unleashed. On September 14th a FedEx truck arrived at Chez Salsburg delivering a large box. Curiosity peaked and I diligently cut into the cardboard and pulled out its contents: a singular blue hoodie and a note reading "I can't live, if living is without you. Sincerely MZ."

Sure, my first thought was, do you think this person is quoting the Badfinger or Mariah Carey version? And, which one makes me feel most uncomfortable? And, why are there ketchup stains on this sweatshirt?

Back to the note - it had an email address and phone number both marked CONFIDENTIAL. Upon dialing a voice picked up the other end before it even rang and said, "Greg is that you? Please come back. I can change."

I attempted to explain myself, while fawning excitement that I was speaking to an entrepreneurial behemoth. Not to mention the last and only reason Jessie Eisenberg will be relevant. He insisted I be flown to Menlo Park, CA to meet face to face, I succumbed.

35,000 feet in the air and somewhere over Dubuque, I checked my emails. One marked urgent caught my eye. Subject: Brewskies with the Ruskies. It went on to read: Greg, as you know we subscribed to your blog after reading about it on Techcrunch. Obviously we hate Facebook too and MZ’s fashion choices make us sick. Our new system Google+ is doing well but we can use your input. Let's bring you to Mountain View, we promise to make it worth your while. Peace, Sergey and Larry.

Look, I've signed so many confidentiality agreements I am not sure I still even own my children. However, I do know that I cannot reveal what took place in those meetings but it was even better than you're thinking. (I may need to lawyer up just for sharing the above.)

With that said, by now you have probably read about the alterations that were unveiled the past few weeks at these companies respectfully. They're not perfect. Change is not a destination, it takes time, and although I'm still not picking sides as of yet I think progress is being made.

As your weekly fearless leader I will continue to defend us all. There is no challenge too great for me to tackle upon your behalf. That is, if I can get my newfound entourage to bring me a painkiller for this massive Champagne hangover.


Gregory Salsburg
Miami | New York | London
c: (561) 386-8064
o: (305) 407-1723

1 comment:

  1. Schmuck,

    If you're going to quote song lyrics, get it right.

    The Late Harry Nilsson's Estate